You guys, I really couldn’t wait to write this blog post and share with you the #1 advice I got that totally changed my career as an Islamic geometry artist.
First of all: do you really know what happened to me in 2022 and why I disappeared from social media?
I don’t think I ever disclosed this anywhere and I think it could very beneficial for you to see that not everything you see on social media is perfect and immaculate. Indeed, life happens to anyone even when we are not showing it out there.
In 2021 I had a very intense middle-life crisis. And believe me, it was not because of the lockdown. It just happened. I got married, moved to another house and life just became so serious and I was not prepared for that. I mean, I am a spoiled brat so how could I ever be prepared for that?
I eventually started doing self-development courses and I was faced with all the generational trauma I had locked deep inside of me. I was so out of touch with my emotions, with a deep sense of shame and blame that I just kept stuffing and pushing down and down.
I couldn’t be with blame at all. Whoever criticised me or disagreed with me brought me to tears because it felt kind of adding more blame and more criticism to the one I already had for myself. It was like having proof that I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
I remember I couldn’t even stand the people who were genuinely questioning my art. Instead of taking it as an opinion, I took it as a personal attack. Yes, that was me.
But I knew I had to face this somehow. It was not healthy to be in that emotional state, numbed and a victim of circumstances.
So I decided to do a 7-month self-development leadership course. And in a leadership course, they teach you to be a leader in life. No bull****, no drama, just face the truth and go beyond what you currently see is possible for yourself and your life.
So imagine me, 2 months into the course crying and sobbing during one of the coaching calls because I was not good enough. I just wanted to leave. No way I would have spent 7months crying. I told my coach “I can’t do this, I am not good at this, I am not good enough and I don’t want to do this anymore”.
It took something for my coach to face the there-is-no-solution-drama-queen-behaviour I had. And she told me something I would never forget.
She said: “Sandy, not being good enough is a problem for you only because you think that not being good enough is wrong”.
Read it again.
And then she continued: “and if you think about it, there is nothing wrong with that. You are just not good enough and you can learn. You may also not be good enough in many other things, that’s just the ‘what’s so’”.
At that moment I felt like she gave me permission to not be good enough. She gave me permission to enjoy the process rather than wait for the end result. Then she asked me “where else in life this ‘not being good enough’ mindset is keeping you from doing what you love?”
After that call, I made a long list and the #1 thing was being a full-time artist. That’s when I choose to leave my safe and comfortable job and pursue my passion. This is why I say that this advice really changed my career as an Islamic geometry artist.
All of this happened while I was away from social media because I just didn’t feel like creating or sharing anything.
It’s not that I am enlightened now and I don’t feel discouraged anymore from time to time, it’s just that I know how to handle my emotions and my thoughts now which is something I am extremely grateful for.
At the end of those 7 months, I also realized how temporary our feelings are. It’s incredible how we human beings think that everything will last forever. Like if I take a decision now, it will be forever. If I leave my job now I could never go back to work anymore. If I move to another city I could never move back home anymore. And it’s not like that. Our emotions are like clouds in the sky and they are the worst test for reality.
You may not like something, or feel like doing it, AND you can still do it. How powerful is that?
Anyway, I hope this short inspirational blog post has helped you see something for yourself and that this advice can change also your Islamic geometry journey.
Do you ever feel like you are not good enough? And how is that affecting your life?
Let me know your thoughts in the comment section below.
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April 24, 2023
That is an amazing share Sandy…very generous…it is so encouraging..I’m sure many , as I hàve, will find it very thought provoking and also feel a sense of relief.
Thank you 💖
Thank you Mahmudah for reading my share and commenting. I am sure I have triggered something in you <3
So very inspiring Sandy! Your words are really endearing! Thank you
thank you Hina <3
I love reading your life experiences
And thank you for shearing.
I love your Islamic painting, and I think you are very good at it.
Something about myself: I love to paint as a hobby. I don’t work anymore, I am 62 years old and I am doing everything I like to do. I only need to travel more often
Hi Miriam, thank you for sharing about yourself. I am 32 years old and if you ask me what is my vision for myself I would say: white hair and a curved back, painting flowers on the walls of my country house in the sun. That’s what I want to do. I hope you are living my dream for me
That was a very vulnerable and powerful share. Thank you for sharing that with us. It’s so helpful.
I can identify with feeling shame and self blame and I recently worked with a coach to heal these. But I felt like maybe I was a bit extra. Why do I have to go through healing. Why can’t I just get it right like everyone else.
So to read about your experience makes me feel like it’s ok to go through rough patches and we can still create beautiful things. We are not broken. We are just human 🏻
Hi Nasreen, thank you for sharing your story. I think that EVERYONE goes through rough patches. The people who don’t they are either hiding it or ignoring it.
One day I got to explain to my husband why he shouldn’t worry if he sees me cry. When he sees me laughing he is not bothered that much. But when he sees me crying suddenly there must be something going on. Crying is as good as laughing. We as humans tend to give it a negative meaning but in fact, it’s not. We should cry as much as we laugh. So cheers to bad moments, good cries and all the uncomfortable situations that help us grow. Well done for taking care of yourself and healing
Thank you for posting this, its courageous 🙌 yes i definitely recognize this with respect to making art. inspirational read 🙏
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